My So-Called Sober Life

Happy Monday sweet friends!

It’s officially the first day of Christmas music for me, and I’m diving in full force. This morning I listened to 4 different versions of “Last Christmas” on repeat so watch out friends and family, you’re gonna hate me by December 1st, if not sooner.

Anywho. Today marks an auspicious day. It’s been 8 days since I imbibed an alcoholic beverage. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m not in AA. I’m just social.

After puking and googling my symptoms last Sunday, I decided that I must have an ulcer. Since then it’s become very apparent that I don’t, but I love over-dramatizing my life apparently. 

But, since me and WebMD had a talk last weekend, I decided to stop drinking for a while and let my tummy heal. I’m surprised and delighted to say I already feel the results from not drinking.

Skin

When I was young and I would get sick, I had a really bad habit of blowing my nose too much. Not with Puffs Plus or some other pansy lotion tissue brand. I’d use anything I could find. Not limited to: toilet paper, paper towels, my sleeve (seriously, young Whit?), computer paper, washcloths, and chip packaging.

Then one day in my later years I was coming off a cold and realized that the redness around my nose wasn’t going away. And it never has. UNTIL NOW. My nose redness has gone from rudolph when he’s super happy driving Santa’s sleigh nose lightin up all over the damn place, to dim nose rudolph when he’s hella depressed and all the other reindeer are making fun of him. Dicks.

Energy

I have a lot more energy when I’m not drinking, apparently. I woke up this weekend so fucking refreshed both mornings because I wasn’t even slightly hungover. I didn’t have a case of the Sunday scaries yesterday either. I cleaned the apartment, made a healthy dinner, watched TV and smiled WAY too much. It was nauseating. I even didn’t hate waking up this morning as much as I usually do on a Monday.

Weight

Saturday night (Yes, Halloween night. Sue me.) I stayed in and ate an entire medium thin crust pizza from Domino’s in one sitting. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten an entire medium pizza, even when I was drunk. I looked up the calories. There are 180 calories in ⅛ of that pizza. I ate 8/8 of that pizza. I felt very sick and ashamed afterwards, but whatever.

I woke up the next morning and felt pretty shitty, until I tried on all of my pants because I was cleaning out my closet. And all of them are already fitting looser. After only a week of not drinking. Hallelu.

Appetite

After hearing my pizza story this will be hard to believe, but when I don’t drink I actually eat less the next day, the day after, etc. Besides the very large pizza blip in the radar, my week has been pretty healthy and I don’t crave all the shitty foods I usually need to get me through the day.

Water Intake

I went to a party on Friday night at someone’s house that I didn’t know and I drank water. The whole time. And you know what? It was pretty much the same. And, I left the party feeling so hydrated. Like, a little baby water cherub hydrated. It was awesome. I got home and I sat on the kitchen counter talking to my roomie and had a moment where I said to myself “I can’t believe I don’t feel drunk” and then realized why would I feel drunk? I didn’t drink anything. I started thinking about all the places I could drive at 2am, but only came up with Wendy’s, Jack in the Box, an after hours club and the 24 hour Walmart, and decided to stay home.

It’s only been a week, so time will tell if I’m just imagining these things (I’ve been known to do this) or they’re actually real, but right now I’m into it.

Liv Laff Luvin u guys this Monday
-lil baby whitters