Hello & Welcome

Hey sweet friends.

Welcome to our blog.

You had a ton of fitness blogs to choose from. Sorry you found ours.

We’re two 20-something professionals trying to lose weight while living bi-coastal lifestyles that involve a lot (like a LOT) of free food. And food we pay for. Also we don’t really know what bi-coastal means but we’re pretty sure Samantha did it in an episode of Sex And The City.

When we started looking around, we realized that no one is talking about how hard it is to actually live a healthy lifestyle and begin a weightloss journey. Also, the term “weightloss journey” is bullshit and this is the last time you’ll see it on our blog. It’s like these women eat overnight oats once and then turn into some weird fitness robot programmed to only speak in motivational phrases and talk about how cauliflower pizza tastes just as good!!! (sponsored by: Big Cauliflower™) as the real thing.

So we’re going to write down all the absolutely insane things that we think and do during our weight loss journey. The missteps, the soft pretzels, the catfishing, the meal-missing (lol is this a thing real people do?), the calorie counting, the strings of unsolved murders, the excuses to not work out, and everything in between. Because weird stuff happens to your brain when you try to lose weight, and people are dumb if they act like it doesn’t. Also, can I have a bite of that pretzel?

A little background about us:

Whitney: I’m a writer for an advertising agency in Los Angeles. I used to be very into Tae Kwon Do (and really cool in high school) and I worked out a LOT. And now I sit at a desk for about 14 hours a day. Shockingly, I’m fatter than I was back then. My fitness goal is to look like a fAsHuN m0dEL after 3 days of working out. But I’m currently nursing a back injury from playing with a puppy, so I’m already very in shape and it might only take 2 days.

Chelsea: I’m a freelance art producer currently based in Brooklyn. A solid one third of my career has been spent sitting 15 feet away from a craft service table piled high with unlimited snacks. One time we had an ice cream truck show up to set as soon as we finished eating dessert. (Please note that someone once told me calories don’t count when you’re on production and I’m currently involved in a multi-million dollar lawsuit with them. My lawyer is advising that I’ve said too much). My weight has yo-yo’d back and forth for the past 27 years of my life – luckily I was a trim 1 year old – and I am in a 3 year old battle with my bangs. That has nothing to do with my weight, I just want you to know that I have pretty cool bangs. I have tried every fad diet / work out plan / tapeworm on the market and I’m hoping that the combination Nutri-Lates-Worm© I bought in Mexico finally does the trick

Nice to virtually meet you. We’ll be here often, finding new ways to complain about things. We’ve got a lot of funny friends so guest columns will abound that will probably (definitely) stray from just fitness. Sorry fit fam. It’ll be like a lifestyle blog. Or whatever.

P.S. If you are a man who is sexually attracted to or thinking of dating either of us please stop now. This is not for your eyes. But also maybe send a DM or whatever.