Because sometimes two girls need to have a dream.
Warning: if you’re on a diet, walk away from this post and don’t read another word.
There are a few things that are inevitable in life: death, taxes and getting fatter if you eat the foods on this list. Right now I’m thinking about my salad with shrimp that I’m making for dinner. But in my heart I’m dreaming of a better life, where I can eat all of my favorite things with no worries that the food will go straight to my larger-than-average hips.
So instead of actually eating all this unhealthy stuff (that’s so 2015), we decided to make a list of all the things we think about while we eat green beans and hard boiled eggs.
Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. If you don’t know why – get out.
A Morton’s Steakhouse Steak. Rare. Bacon-wrapped.
An entire casserole dish of homemade Au Gratin potatoes.
Totchos. Derived from the Latin terms “Tater Tots” and “Nachos”.
A brown butter and salt glazed old-fashioned donut. (Oops I actually just ate that.)
A Bojangles fried chicken biscuit with cheese. If you haven’t had one, it’s as disgusting/delicious as it sounds.
A cheese and charcuterie board the size of a literary villain’s dining room table.
Baked macaroni and cheese.
Kraft macaroni and cheese.
Annie’s macaroni and cheese.
Basically any macaroni and cheese.
An entire cookie pizza with an artist’s rendition of my face in icing.
Dippin dots. Ice Cream of the Future™.
A delicious cheese pizza. Just for me.
Seventeen Funfetti cupcakes that spell out “O M G Y O U A R E S O S K I N N Y”
The entire table of food in “Hook.”
The ice cream with all of the calories taken out in that weird sex dream scene in “The Sweetest Thing.”
Carbs. Every color, shape, and size. Mostly pasta. Yeah, pasta.
An In-N-Out double double, no sauce, ketchup and mustard instead.
A King Cake from Dong Phuong. Hold the baby.
French fries dipped in a chocolate shake.
Chocolate shake dipped in french fries. (Don’t ask questions. This is OUR dream.)
Those weird candies that every single Chinese restaurant in the entire world has.
Dirt cake which is really just crushed oreos, cool whip, and gummy worms but makes you feel like a fatter, unhealthier Bear Grylls.
100 oysters without the guise of them being an “aphrodisiac” and just because I want to eat 100 oysters.
A bunch of rotisserie chickens. #rotisslife
All of the things @foodbabyny has ever eaten.
Bacon wrapped in bacon. Why not? L E T M E L I V E
A Caesar salad that’s mostly just cheese, hold the anchovies, hold like 80% of the lettuce.
Cheese without my lactose intolerance being a “thing.”
The Scrooge McDuck pool but instead of being filled with gold, it’s filled with ice cream.
But for now we’ll try to stick to our salads and acai bowls. Le sigh. ❤ LBW + CG