Sweet friends, it’s so good to talk to you all again after this long break. I can’t say that I’m excited about the fact that I’m back at work, but one of my resolutions is to be more positive about things I can’t change. And I really tried to change the fact that today is Monday, but maybe The Secret lied to me and my mind isn’t as powerful as I think it is.
My break was full of family, friendship, travel, food and yelling inappropriate things at Detective Elliot Stabler from the comfort of my couch. I had a great vacation from start to finish, but one of the highlights was when I put on pants and took a trip to Nobu Malibu with two sweet friends of mine. These are their stories. (dun dun)
I’ve been to Nobu in Hollywood once before, and it was magical. Everything about the place made me feel special, rich and incredibly hashtag blessed that I could have that experience.
But it did not prepare me for Nobu Malibu: The Most Magical Place On Earth. (cue dramatic music)
I exited the Uber and heard the Pacific crashing into the coastline, and I knew this was a treat yoself moment of 2016. The place is beautiful, especially at night. We walked past a cute outdoor area where I imagine Kendall, Gigi, Drake and The Weeknd sit on warm nights and share a bottle of Montrachet while talking about their feelings.
When we got inside I immediately felt underdressed. The vibe was Birkin, Céline and Chanel.
There was a guy who looked like he hadn’t showered in years and was wearing sandals with socks (what’re thooooooooose?), but here that just means he’s a very, very successful writer. I silently thanked my stylish and incredibly awesome mom for tracking down and buying me a Mansur Gavriel bag for Christmas, and I used that as a shield against the fact that my sweater was from Forever 21.
Usually in LA when you get to the hostess stand of any hot spot, the hostesses are dicks. They look you up and down and make sure you’re cool enough for them. At Nobu, I felt welcome even though I’m not 20 lbs and I wasn’t wearing leather leggings. They were incredibly nice and brought us to a table outside where we could people watch and hear the ocean crashing in the background. Their heat lamp game is perfect (rich people get cold very easily), so even though it was cold the outdoor area was packed. I took in the sights and sounds of people conversing and dining on expensive fish.
We sat down and ordered drinks, but they didn’t even bring us food menus until we were settled in, had our drinks and talked for a bit, which is very relaxing. Actually, the entire dinner was incredibly well-timed and we never felt rushed. After some stories and laughs that were not Nobu-appropos we ordered our first round of food.
Yellowtail Sashimi with Jalapeño
Rock Shrimp Tempura with Creamy Spicy Sauce
Albacore with Meyer Lemon Sashimi
Eel Cucumber Roll
Verdict: The Eel Cucumber Roll and Yellowtail Sashimi with Jalapeño won this round, but the rock shrimp is a classic and a must-order dish if you go.
Dirty Ketel Martini with Olives while we renamed the restaurant NubuNubu and deemed it LA’s hottest club. Sorry Stefon.
Verdict: The perfect amount of olive juice and just enough vodka to find NubuNubu incredibly funny.
Salmon Sashimi with Dried Red Miso and Yuzu Sauce
Bigeye Tuna Roll
Spicy Tuna with Crispy Rice
Verdict: The salmon sashimi won this round (It’s not technically on the menu. We modified it from the fluke sashimi – pro tip). By this point I was so full and really didn’t need any of the food in the second round, but I ate it all. We sat there staring down our spicy tuna with crispy rice plate for a good 20 minutes before we could even fathom eating it. (Full disclosure I haven’t turned into a tiny waif who can’t eat anything – yet. My friends and I loaded up on snacks before we went because we were worried we’d spend too much $$. We spent too much $$ anyway.)
We are a fitness blog, so I have to tell you that this meal was – for the most part – a celebration of health. A lot of fresh fish, minimal rice and maximum vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, etc. Except for the rock shrimp, the crispy rice and the alcohol. Lol. But the yellowtail with jalapeño is actually something Beyonce eats every day on her extreme health diet, so since we are basically as famous and svelte as Beyonce, it’s good enough for us too.
This was the only bad part of the whole night – atoning for our gluttony. Before the bill came we all guessed how much we spent. We said somewhere between $210 and $380 and thankfully it was not on the high end of that range. For 3 people we spent $280 before tip and that included 2 cocktails each with the good stuff. We could have ordered less food, but when you’re doing a meal like that you gotta live a little.
If you find yourself in LA, go here. And save me a seat. I’ll be there in 20.
Love u guys.
-Little Baby Whitters