A recurring post to discuss healthy or unhealthy choices we made this week, talk about why we feel rundown, remember the 2003 sleeper hit The Rundown with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Sean “Not An Inanimate Object” William Scott, and anything else we’re thinking, eating, or doing right now.
Whitney: Hey babe.
What a week amirite?
Chelsea: I’m not sure I’ve ever said “is it Friday yet?” more. People love that, right?
W: Did you just make that up? That’s hilarious!
C: I sure did. I’m trying to work it into my standup act. People seem to really be responding to it.
W: I’ll have to check it out. But anyway…how should we do this? Start with Monday? Maybe a Garfield pic?
C: We just get each other – you know? So how was your week of health? Give me a rundown bb.
W: I’d describe my week of health with one word: awful. I only worked out once. Once on Sunday evening and one attempted Soul Cycle class last night until I had to work late and forfeit my $30.
C: We can’t all be health pros like me…so I get it*
*To clarify I did half of a Kayla workout on Monday. Stopped to eat chili (I know, I know – again with the chili), and felt so guilty that I redid the whole thing on Tuesday. Skipped Wednesday to eat Vietnamese food, and spent Thursday throwing up said Vietnamese food.
W: Well silver lining….sounds like Wednesday night never happened since you threw it back up. That’s how health works, right? Also my food intake was terrible. I actually made healthy food for lunch and dinner a couple of the days, which I am super proud of, but somehow I still spent a ton of $$$ on food every day this week.
C: Who can we talk to about making healthy food cheaper? Hillary? I’m proud of you for making food though. YOU GO GURL!
W: Thanks b. I’m no hero, but at least I didn’t eat 2 chocolate bars and ice cream like I did a few weeks ago. It’s all about progress.
C: OH – that reminds me of an actual health thing that I did. Well, my roommate did. She found this recipe on pinterest for these banana bites. Slice bananas, cover the slices in peanut butter mixed with applesauce. Dip half of it in melted dark chocolate and put a tiny bit of sea salt on top. Freeze. Delicious and super easy – well, especially if someone else makes them for you.
W: Whoa. I want that. That sounds amazing. I’m really trying to contribute something right now that is fitness or diet related, and I’m just realizing how much I did not GAF. (that’s “give a fuck” for the oldies but goodies reading).
C: What’s the best fitness advice anyone’s ever told you? And can we make a pact never to say “fitness pizza in my mouth” please?
W: That’s a perfect segue to my mini rant about shirts with clever fitness sayings. I feel very strongly about lame fitness shirts. I want to burn them all (possibly while they’re still on the bodies of the people who wear lame fitness shirts).
The best fitness advice that I’ve received was probably from my Tae Kwon Do coach. I was trying to get into a lighter weight class for a fight and he said to me: “You need to lose weight. Stop eating.” And you know what? It really works.
What about you? You got any real shit for our dear readers?
C: Haha. Agreed about the fitness shirts. Even worse than the clever fitness sayings – the vague, doesn’t actually mean anything, fitness shirts. Cool “sweat, swam, swerp, fitness” shirt. What? WTF is a swerp?
And the best fitness advice I’ve ever heard is kind of eerily close to what you said. My mom is a naturally small lady, but went to her doctor about 20 years ago to ask how to get in better shape. She spent some time complaining about how this diet didn’t work or this food wasn’t helping and the doctor looked her straight in the eye and just said, “eat less, exercise more. The end.” That real real, ya know?
W: So turns out that we have to actually work hard to get the body we want, huh? (I’m typing this after eating almost an entire “personal” size pizza at Stella Barra btw).
C: I don’t care if I’m on a juice cleanse – if I go to Stella Barra I’m eating an entire pizza. The end. I told you that their Prosciutto + Egg pizza marked the beginning of the end of my last relationship, right?
W: Yes! I always think about that when I see it on the menu. I ate the sausage today. I was feeling adventurous and really fucking starving.
C: So jealous. Do you think they deliver to NYC?
W: I think Postmates does. Do you guys have Postmates over there? Does my joke even translate to East Coast?
C: Babe BABE we have Postmates. No one will willingly come to Bushwick but Postmates definitely exists. I am constantly amazed that I have the ability to order a pizza while I’m in the bathroom. Not that I ever have. But the option is there.
W: The first time I got Postmates I checked my credit card and had ordered over $300 worth of food in a month. I deleted the app immediately. And then about 2 weeks later I reinstalled it.
C: Haha! Thanks Obama?
W: Sometimes you’re in a party mood and you’re hungover 3x a week and you physically cannot get off the couch for an entire fortnight. (I don’t know what a fortnight is.)
C: It’s what our forefathers would have wanted. I think. Maybe not.
Alright I need to hit the road. My shoot is almost wrapped. Did I mention I’m on a cookie shoot today? I’m surrounded by bags and bags of cookies. I didn’t have any. Except for 3. #help
W: QUICK. GET OUT OF THERE.
C: Something’s gotta be working. A couple weeks ago I’d be on bag #3 instead of cookie. Am I healthy?
W: I think you unlocked that weird secret that doctors hate that I keep seeing all over the Internet.
C: Haha FINALLY! Ok gal pal. Talk to you this weekend. YOU’RE ALMOST FREE!
W: YAS. I can TASTE the weekend. These are the times I’m super jealous that you’re 3 hours ahead of me.
C: (Come to me.) Bye babe!