Sometimes (rarely) I get on the treadmill at the gym and I decide to run. It’s rough, but I feel really good after I do it, so once every few months I go back for more. This is a sampling of what it’s like in my mind while I’m on there.
3.2 is a respectable pace to walk at. I have short legs.
Okay it’s been 13 minutes – this is ridiculous. I gotta run at some point
What if I just walked tho?
Time for my favorite running song
Hey Porsche is Nelly’s magnum opus
Omg this song is really long
How long is this song?
Help me
*Imagines myself tripping, hitting my teeth on the front of the treadmill and collapsing in a pile off the back of it.
*Starts laughing out loud uncontrollably
Why is everyone looking at me?
That guy’s hot…haaaaaay
Is he looking at me? I can’t tell bc I don’t have my glasses on. Is this squint sexy?
*Actually trips on the treadmill and almost collapses off the back of it
*Starts laughing out loud uncontrollably
*Hot guy looks at me with concern
Whatever dude. I’m not here to flirt – I’m here to work
*Looks down to see sweat all over treadmill
Sexi.
What am I gonna eat after this?
THIS SONG IS STILL GOING
How do people do this all the time?
I’m not that hungry I’ll prob have veggies for dinner
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Omg this song is still going
Ooh a text
Can’t text and run. Better stop.
NO
Keep going it’s almost over
Hold on. That song’s only 3 ½ minutes long?
So that means
I have to do like 9 more songs
Running.
- More. Songs.
Running.
Nooooooooooooooooooo
****30 minutes later*****
Dude. I think I hit my goal weight.
This is it
I’m pretty much a fitness guru
Should I start a fitness blog?
The Struggle 
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